Final Reflection: Anton

After coming back to USF this past Saturday, I realized that there could have been no better way to spend my spring break. I have traveled out of the country before, but no experience could have prepared me for this trip. I left with the feeling that I have made a difference.

The first two days were valuable in the sense of Panamanian culture and scenery. Meeting the Embera tribe left with an entirely new perspective of those that don't take part in technology and twenty first century luxuries. I had previously thought that these groups felt needful and under-privileged. On the canoe, cruising away from the island, I knew that this was not the case at all. In fact, it was a very simple, happy life - without many of the struggles of "civilized" life. It was disheartening to hear some of the dangers and obstacles that they face as a people. I wish there is something that could be done about the government's power over them. Their culture is quickly changing as the advent of tourism is growing in their economy. Now, food, beads, material, and other things are bought in town with money that they receive for putting up with tourists. It's really a shame that their way of life is so drastically changed.

The next four days were some of the best days that I have had in quite a while. I have worked with several childrens' organizations, but not one that could even compare to these. This children have so many needs, and it is feels terrible not to be able to satisfy all of them. We did a great job in helping out with some of the organizations financial problems, but the biggest need that both shared is the lack of caring individuals that can come and spend time with the kids. I didn't originally think that two days with a baby or a kid would make any difference. In Casa Esperanza, we only were able to spend about five hours with the kids. We threw a small party for them, and by doing so - we showed them that there are people who care for them. The true value of these two days were meeting a couple of the kids, and talking and playing with them. Contrary to what I had thought, spending just a few hours with a kid can have an impact on his life. I met one child, Danny, who stuck with me most of the time. I was able to teach him several things about dealing with women, and he taught me some spanish. I had the pleasure of dressing up as a Leprechaun for the party, in charge of the candy; in which I wore a large, skillfully crafted hat. The significance of this was that I was able to leave the hat with Danny, as a constant reminder that someone, somewhere is thinking about him.

At Nutre Hogar, I learned that I am actually not half bad in dealing with babies. The first second I walked into the nursery, this one little dude was staring me down. I went over to him and played with him for a bit. I went to leave and he started crying. It seemed like he bonded with me pretty quickly. I ended up playing with little Jose for four hours, without leaving him once. If I tried to walk away, the whole neighborhood heard his protests. The next day was the same routine. He recognized me instantly and we spent another few hours together, culminating in me feeding him dinner. It hit me so hard that this little guy was defenseless against the fact that his survival depended on this organization, and the support it receives from others. When I fed him dinner, it was tough to keep a straight face. He was almost two years old, and could not speak or walk. Without someone there to stimulate his mental and physical growth, his future will be at risk. If I could, I would have stayed there for another few weeks - or just taken him home with me in my suitcase.

These few days took a mental toll on me, however they instilled in me a desire to do more in my community. One can preach all day of hardship and much-needed help, but until the listener actually sees his own work pay off, it is hard to muster up the initiative to help. I gained many great memories of my hard work serving these little kids, and I now see that it is so important that people volunteer. I have learned many things, gained perspective, and discovered a lot about myself as a person. This trip was incredible, and I really want the Honors College to have another class like this, going to another country. I will be the first to sign up!